Bullet Train (2022)

Score: C- (7/10)

Despite its attention-grabbing premise and well-casted supporting characters, Bullet Train lacks composure when the film needs it most and often ruins what it had going for it.

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Upon first viewing the film’s trailer, Bullet Train looks like an action-packed adventure on a train with diverse and entertaining characters, including Hollywood celebrities like Brad Pitt and Michael Shannon. Everything the film is on paper looked set to be a blockbuster hit. However, the film manages to present them in a way that’s downright mediocre once past its impressive premise.

Firstly, the film wants audiences to think it’s primarily action-oriented. To be fair, it still presents itself that way. Characters often use their surroundings while fighting, giving the sequences flair and creativity. However, the film manages to offset its action with character backstories and several scenes of character banter. It’s hard to get interested in the fights when extended dialogue exchanges occur before or after they occur. In addition, it’s not until the film’s climax that the action picks up, including several slow-motion shots, and breaks the sequence’s ebb and flow.

Speaking of which, Bullet Train’s pacing is all over the place, especially in its first half. The film spends an awful amount of time on any character’s backstories, with The Wolf's backstory given visually and orally. It substantially drags the film’s plot progression, likely resulting in its two-hour runtime. It’s unfortunate when backstories like the Wolf’s are entertaining and add substance to who’s in the film and what they do. It also doesn’t help when Ladybug doesn’t do much to keep the plot moving with his “peace-of-mind” attitude. In movies like this, the hero needs to be motivated to progress, and Brad Pitt’s character does not have it.

Luckily, the film includes a few silver linings. Lemon and Tangerine are an entertaining and comedic duo whenever they’re on screen. Their backstory is the only one that works because it doesn’t add more than the audience needs about them. The often comedic duo makes up many of the film’s shining moments. Lemon speaks to and fights the main protagonist in the quiet car, offering a creative and inventive sequence. Lemon and Tangerine banter about whether they killed sixteen or seventeen people on their last assignment for the White Death. Lemon and Tangerine get the plot moving throughout the movie when the protagonist refuses to do so. Lemon and Tangerine are also the most fleshed-out characters in the film, giving Bullet Train emotions, action, and humor. The Elder is another well-presented cliche and partakes in a great action sequence against the White Death. Kimura also delivers a similar level of seriousness to an otherwise comedic-heavy film.

Bullet Train is ultimately a case of the filmmakers being unaware of what the source material’s supposed to be. Is it funny or serious? Is it packed with action or dialogue? Those questions are difficult to answer after watching the film. However, the film shows glimpses of what it should be with Lemon and Tangerine’s often witty banter and mostly well-presented action sequences, with The Elder and Kimura’s attention-grabbing goals coming in a close second. Regardless, the film’s mix of quality and pacing results in an unfortunately dim experience for many, which would resolve itself if it took more time to refine its pacing and writing. I wanted to love this movie, but it never met my hope that it would reach its full potential.